Photo Credit: Annie Spratt via Unsplash
If you recall I declared in January this was the year God wanted to see His daughters set free. Believing this many of the plans for the blog centered on this truth. I underestimated the work needing to be done in my life and how it would interfere with my writing. Before I’m able to help others get free I needed to do some healing and growth as well. I’ve felt guilty for neglecting this space. For not being faithful to speak with you as I had planned. I’ve been in a place of shock at Gods plans as well as a place of grief as I admit it doesn’t look anything as I thought. It is a place of being held by God as I live in the tension between what is and what will be.
I found it to be an odd place and yet as thinking on it I guess is a normal place for all believers. Every day we live in the tension of being in this world and not of the world. The tension of living surrounded by sin and yet set apart for God’s purposes and plans. We have to learn to live in the tension and still be glorifying to God even through the struggles. It’s a hard thing to do and also a beautiful thing to watch someone do it well.
I want to do it well. I’m not sure I ever feel I do. I think this is a normal feeling for those of us living in the tension. We desire to please God yet we are ever aware of our humanity and fallen sin nature. We know we have the power within us to overcome, yet we have to be intentional to choose to die to self. Dying is hard. It doesn’t feel good. It’s painful.
We have reached this place where we do about anything not to feel pain. Numb is good. I’ll admit it there are seasons where I prefer numb. Being numb makes us complacent. It robs us of joy and sadness, and steals from us passions making us indifferent to the world around us. We become indifferent to the discontent God uses to draw us into His purposes and fulfill the call on our lives.
To live in the tension of knowing God has a purpose for us and not being certain how to reach it, or envision is hard. At times we want to shelve the idea and forget it. Other times we are impatiently trying to see something happen and we get weary in the waiting. All this is part of living in the tension between what will be and what is now.
Sometimes we lose our focus seeing only what is before us and missing the bigger picture. All the struggles of living in the tension are designed to shape, refine, and prepare us to be who God created us to be. We need to stop striving to reach the next thing and learn to enjoy the journey along the way. Take time to abide in Jesus and trust His timing is perfect. Knowing no matter how much you mess up you are not big enough to mess up His plan. He has already accounted for every mistake you will ever make.
As we live in the tension and we don’t know how to begin to move forward we press into Jesus. We stay in the Word. We let Him hold us because we don’t hardly have the strength or energy to hold onto Him. Here in this place of weakness we again realize we are so small and He is so big. In this place of weakness, we again remember we have no control and no authority of our own. We step down and again allow God to have His rightful place on the throne and surrender our lives to His plan. As we rest in this place knowing He has the power to handle the situation we realign to His plans and purposes. Then even when the circumstances do not change we find a peace in the storm. We also find His quiet guidance saying this is the way, now walk in it.