For years I have struggled with the tension that I could read the latest novel from cover to cover in days and yet when it came to reading the Bible I struggled to read even a handful of verses. I felt this was wrong. I wanted reading the Bible to be easy. I liked being in the Word. I've formed the daily disciplines essential to successful living. I've fallen in love with the scriptures and through perseverance taught myself to read larger passages of text and to enjoy it.
Can I dare to be real with you? I love God and Jesus with all that I am. I seek nothing more than to be found well-pleasing in the sight of God. At the same time I struggle seriously with issues of self-worth, giving and receiving love, and many more things. I've spent a lot of my life trying to be invisible and often times I feel like I got no more than I deserved. The thing is that I love God but often I struggle to take my place as His daughter made clean and pure washed in the blood of Jesus.
Sometimes we don't know how to walk out that which God requires. It seems this year has been one of those seasons where I am ever more aware that I don't know how to do this. I don't let people in. I found a new to me song the other day and the lyrics have left their mark on my heart. These first few lines describe me well. "You take your place in the shadows, Play your part, hide your heart, so that nobody knows, All the secrets that you hold, Memories and broken dreams from a story left untold..."
If God can take David--the invisible eighth son of a forgotten family--and turn him into a king, just imagine what magnificent plans He has for redeeming your life. David was born a number 8--a hidden gem, often overlooked and undervalued by everyone except for God. For David, being a number 8 seemed like a curse until the day God transformed him from the unknown eighth son of Jesse into the much-honored king of Israel.
In the words of Mandisa's new song, "Not scared to say it, I used to be the one, Preaching it to you, That you could overcome, I still believe it, But it ain't easy, 'Cause that world I painted, Where things just all work out, It started changing, And I started having doubts, And it got me so down..."
If you deeply desire to feel the touch of God's voice fall fresh on your soul... If you ache for the tenderness of an intimate conversation with the One who calls you His... If you'd like to be embraced by the stillness of God's presence-to return to your First Love and let Him captivate your heart the way a sunrise leans into a new day... If you'd like to experience God in simple ways again... This forty day journey of the soul is for you.